March 11, 2013

Whatever Happened To Perspective?


Whatever happened to perspective?

There is so much bullshit-masquerading-as-information floating around that it has become impossible to get anyone's attention unless you take every little thing that happens and go hysterical about it.

Every petty fact or trend has to be embellished, embroidered, or exaggerated or no one will notice.

If unemployment goes up 1/10 of a percent, we hear that this is "the highest unemployment rate since December."

DECEMBER?

That was 3 FUCKING MONTHS AGO! Is that supposed to be some kind of historic development?

If a baseball player suddenly gets hot, we hear that he has an 8-game "hitting streak."

8 GAMES?

DiMaggio hit in 56 straight games. Let me know when this guy gets to 35 and we'll talk.
 
Several months ago I read a headline in The Wall Street Journal, "IPO Drought Hits U.S. After Facebook Debacle." Here was the drought...
"...the IPO market has officially dried up. The U.S. has gone three weeks without an initial public offering." 
THREE WEEKS! Oh my fucking god! Not only that, it's...
"...the longest drought in about five months." 
FIVE MONTHS! Holy shit! Pack the car we're moving to Canada.

One question: Exactly how many "droughts" can you have in five months? Doesn't a drought take some time? Just because you spill some fucking water doesn't mean there's a drought.

We are living in the golden age of bullshit and the thing that is driving all this bullshit is "communication."  There is way too much communication. It's making us all stupid and hysterical.

We're tweeting and posting and updating and taking the most trivial nonsense and elevating it to "news" and "stories" and "conversations." It's not "news" or "stories" or "conversations." It's bullshit.

Would everyone please just shut the fuck up?

20 comments:

Mikko Härmeinen said...

The cynic in me suspects this is because the news organizations have taken their cue from us ad people. I mean, taking "every little thing that happens" and going "hysterical about it"? Sounds like what we all too often do for living.

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socialist said...

i'm like, totally retweeting this, yeah

Pim said...

Very sweary. I like it.

twittacam said...

this is the funniest thing i've read since the last funny thing i read.

Tony Mariani said...

Love the fact that you included Canada in this article.  In the next one, see if you can include Winnipeg!  We have a lot of bullshit here and there are a lot of people that need to stfu!

Keith Marshall said...

With so much information available all the time I suppose exaggeration is the only way to get our attention. If I hear "epic" or "amazing" one  more time I'm going postal. (Well not really - that's an exaggeration. I don't even own a gun). 
I love the last line. 

Mark said...

Don't forget all of the things that normally would fly under the radar that now get reported just so people who wouldn't have known or cared otherwise can get offended by them.  

Allan Oliveira said...

Thanks God there is a few lucid yet.

ContraContrarian said...

Quit reading and watching everything.  Let the noisemakers make noise.

I have a weight problem and get upset with all the donut and cupcake shops everywhere.   It's like they're constantly pouring out empty calories, and they just won't freakin' stop. 

KL said...

Love how your foray into retirement is mellowing you!

john p woods said...

Open the window and shout, “I am as mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!".

Whitley said...

 Somebody needs a hug...

Jeffrey Summers said...

Contrast this with not talking about serious events.  Don't forget to add 'political agendas' as a motivation. 

PaulGBurke said...

Your finest post. Ever.

Dayna said...

from your lips to god's ear.  now someone tell CNN

Dayna said...

I read once that the average 'westerner' is bombarded by more news in 1 day than someone in a major city would get in a year and someone in a rural setting would get in their lifetime just 100 years ago.  Its a small small world and its becoming impossible to care about these 'events'.  There is just too much... and apathy sets in quitely sneaking in like a fog filling the cracks.... le sigh.

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